Breaking Through the Grind—Why Meditation Feels Harder Than It Should

Have you ever had a goal that should be easy but instead feels like climbing a mountain in roller skates? For me, this year, that’s been building a consistent meditation practice. I’m nailing most of my other goals—getting my project management certifications, making steady progress on Lewis Loft 3.0, sticking to a fitness routine—but when it comes to sitting quietly with my thoughts? That’s where the wheels fall off.

Meditation feels like this elusive thing I know is good for me, like eating kale or folding laundry right after it comes out of the dryer. But every time I try to settle into it, I feel stuck, like there’s some invisible force of friction keeping me from making it a habit. And here’s the thing: being stuck isn’t failure. It’s just an opportunity to get curious.

In Adam Alter’s book, Anatomy of a Breakthrough, he talks about this universal feeling of being stuck and how it’s actually a necessary part of growth. Alter introduces something called the Friction Audit, which has been a game-changer for me. It’s all about identifying what’s really holding you back—whether it’s emotional, cognitive, or behavioral. Spoiler alert: I have all three when it comes to meditation.

Step 1: Conducting My Friction Audit

Let’s break this down:

• Heart (Emotional Frictions):

When I think about meditating, I feel restless before I even begin. There’s this underlying sense of Why am I doing this? Shouldn’t I be crossing something else off my list? My to-do list guilt is real.

• Head (Cognitive Frictions):

I’ve convinced myself that meditation is supposed to feel peaceful and profound every single time. When it doesn’t, I start questioning whether I’m doing it “right,” which makes me want to avoid it altogether.

• Habit (Behavioral Frictions):

Let’s just say my current “meditation habit” is more sporadic than consistent. I don’t have a set time or place to do it, so it’s easy for it to slip off my radar.

Step 2: Borrowing from My Other Wins

Here’s the cool thing: we’ve all made progress in something before, which means we already have strategies that work—we just need to apply them to the sticky spots. For example:

• Consistency Wins in Fitness: I’ve learned that showing up, even when I don’t feel like it, builds momentum. I’m not trying to win an Olympic gold in stretching; I just need to get started. The same should apply to meditation: progress over perfection.

• Planning for Success: As a project manager, I know success is built on systems. My projects run on timelines, workflows, and accountability. Why not apply the same structure to my meditation goal? Scheduling a daily 10-minute block and treating it like a meeting with myself feels doable.

• Reframing the Why: When I’m working on Lewis Loft 3.0, I think about how the design decisions I make now will affect my future quality of life. Meditation should be no different—it’s about creating mental space that will benefit Future Me.

Step 3: Reframing Stuckness

Another concept from Alter’s book that hit home for me is that being stuck isn’t permanent—it’s a middle phase. It’s that awkward middle ground where progress feels slow and messy, but if you lean into it, the breakthrough is just on the other side.

For me, the reframe is this: I don’t have to love meditation right now for it to matter. I just have to do it. I’m reminding myself that the grind is part of the process, not a reason to give up.

Step 4: Journaling My Way Through

I’ve also been experimenting with the journaling prompts I shared recently (yes, I use my own advice!). Here’s how they’re helping me unpack the resistance:

1. What’s one small step I can take today?

Download a guided meditation app and set a timer for just 5 minutes. No overthinking allowed.

2. What emotions come up when I think about this goal?

A mix of guilt (for not doing it) and frustration (that it’s harder than it “should” be). Recognizing these emotions helps me let go of them.

3. How can I make it easier?

Pair meditation with something I already enjoy—like sitting outside in the sunshine for a quick breather.

Step 5: The Project Manager Perspective

Here’s where this ties back to life as a project manager: personal goals are projects too. They’re just less glamorous. There’s no Gantt chart for meditation, no project team cheering you on when you hit your milestone. But the principles are the same: identify the roadblocks, reframe the problem, and create a plan of action.

When I help my team at work get unstuck, it’s about simplifying the process, removing unnecessary barriers, and focusing on the next actionable step. So why should my personal life be any different? The more I treat meditation as a small, manageable project, the less daunting it feels.

Growing With the Grind

If you’re struggling with a sticky goal, know this: you’re not alone, and it’s not a sign that you’re failing. Whether it’s meditating, learning a new skill, or tackling a tough project, the path to progress is messy for everyone. But messy doesn’t mean impossible. It just means you’re in the middle of the breakthrough.

So let’s embrace the grind together. Take the small step. Do the friction audit. And most importantly, don’t give up. Future You will thank you.